


A Chance to Love You

by Legitaprincess



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Established Relationship, Family Fluff, Mother-Son Relationship, ash and griff have different moms in this, ash deals with some loose ends, ash is happy with a family, being parents, coming to terms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-18
Updated: 2020-05-18
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:02:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24243250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Legitaprincess/pseuds/Legitaprincess
Summary: “It’s me, Ash- Aslan. Your kid. The one you left, remember.”OrAsh visits his mother and realizes love isn't how it always seems.
Relationships: Ash Lynx & Original Character(s), Ash Lynx/Okumura Eiji
Comments: 4
Kudos: 94





	A Chance to Love You

**Author's Note:**

> I always thought what would Ash say to his mom if he could ever talk to her and this is what happened

He stood over the small mound of dirt. To a passerby it would get mistaken for an anthill or something left forgotten from a child’s play session. The only indication that it was a grave was the small etching in the wooden fence beside it. He wondered for a moment why they hadn’t bothered to moved her, or, at the very least, add in a marker. Maybe they wanted to ignore the reality that she was gone. Maybe they hadn’t wanted to acknowledge the fact that she had died, partly due to their neglect. But, he reminded himself, they had remembered the exact coordinates of this place. Even came every few years to make sure it was still there. Maybe, he hoped, it was the only way they knew how to say I love you and I'm sorry.

Leaning down, he ran his fingers over the wooden post, feeling for nicks and signs of manipulation. The letters had nearly faded, after a decade of neglect. But if he pressed down on some lines, that went against the grain of the wood, he could make out the letters that he had memorized by heart.

 _Callenreese_.

He smiled softly. Of all things he hadn’t expected Jim to do, taking the last name of some one-night stand was at the top. Though he supposed it was partly to get rid of his ex-wife being on his case and managing to find every address he switched over to. Standing straight, he took a deep breath, closing his eyes and counting to 10.

 _8, 9, 10._ He opened his eyes, letting out a small breath. Spreading the jacket in his arms on the ground, he sat back straight against the fence, watching the sky for a moment. It was peaceful here. If he closed his eyes, he could almost pretend that he was sitting on the hill by the shitty apartment he called home. But, when he opened his eyes taking in the sky that was far too blue for a winter in New York, the birdsong too loud and the wind too soft.

He cleared his throat, not sure how he was supposed to do this. Closing his eyes, once more, he prayed to whatever God there was, that she would hear this. “Hey, ah, mom?” He winced at how uncertain he sounded.

“It’s me, Ash- Aslan. Your kid. The one you left, remember.” Great, now he was coming off as bitter. He took a deep breath in, letting go of the feeling of resentment. That wasn’t the point of this.

“I’m just here to talk to you. I never got to do that. Since you, you know, died.” He leaned back on the fence, noting the patterns in the clouds. He gave himself a few moments to just watch the sky, calming himself down.

“I’m not gonna lie, I always wanted to know why you didn’t stay. Or at least take me with you. Or try to leave me something of you. I don’t know if I’ll ever understand properly, but I think I’m closer to understanding.

“Jim told me that you were 16 when you had me and that’s just fucked up. I remember how I was at 16 and I can’t imagine being a parent, especially if I wasn’t sure if I would even be alive for longer. Guess that also explains why you didn’t take me with you. No offense but your side of the family is kinda full of assholes. Guess there was no guarantee if they’d even keep me. I get why you left them and were so willing to get with a guy so much older than you. I did something similar, kinda.” He began to fiddle with pieces grass, twisting them into knots. He spoke after knotting a few, forming a chain.

“I don’t blame them for being on edge though, either. The kid of the guy who knocked you up, shows up, asking for where you're buried. Even if they weren’t really cool with you, they still probably didn’t want a random person going to your grave. It is pretty suspect.” He gave a dry laugh, feeling as if he was being rung out.

“But I always wanted to meet you. Just have a single conversation with you. I was always kinda jealous that Griff had a few years with his mother. He could remember her hugs and how she called him her bear. I wondered what you would call me. Or if you liked to give big, bear hugs. I wanted to know so much about you.

“You know, I used to keep this journal where I would write stuff I would tell you. It was stupid stuff, like how I won a game or how the teacher told me my painting was the best. It was dumb, but I guess that’s how kids should be. Just dumb, worrying about things like if their friend would also wear the same shoes as them because they promised to last week or how sandwiches need to have the crust cut into stars because that’s how Papa does it.” A small smile played on his lips. “That’s what my kid is worried about these days. That’s all I want her to worry about. Not whether or not she’ll get food tonight or if she’ll have to go back to people who hurt her. I want her to argue with me about how in checkers you can do five jumps because that’s what Papa lets her do. Or just worry about her homework. I want her to be happy, with people who are gonna love her.

“And I’m sure you felt the same way. That’s probably why you left. You probably thought Jim would’ve been a better parent than you. And maybe you were right. Not like I have anything to compare him to. But I guess, if I was in your shoes, I may have done the same.” He rested his hands in his lap, folding them.

“You know, despite all the shit that happened, I am really grateful to you. You could’ve chosen to just get rid of me and that would’ve been understandable. I don’t know why you didn’t, I’m not sure if I could do that. You are incredibly brave.” He bent his head, feeling tears pricking the back of his eyes.

“Thank y-“

“Ash!” he looked up, smiling softly at the man who was running over to him.

“Eiji.” Eiji slowed his jog to a walk.

“I was wondering if you were done.”

“Yea, more or less. Do you need anything?”

Eiji just smiled, bending in front of the small mound of dirt. “I just wanted to pay my respects.”

And of course, Eiji did. He was so conscientious of all these things. He was the reason Ash was even here right now.

“So?” Ash blinked at the question.

“So?” He repeated, tilting his head.

“So, can I?”

“Yea, of course, go ahead.”

With that, Eiji smiled, placing his hands on his knees. He directed that smile towards the grave. “Hello, it is nice to finally meet you. I am Ash’s husband, Eiji. I have always wanted to thank you for Aslan. I hope you are proud of him. I met him when he was 17 and in the 7 years, I have known him, he has grown so much. I'm sure for you, the growth is even more prominent.”

Standing up, Eiji grabbed Ash’s hand, lacing their fingers together. “Thank you for giving him a chance. He’s an amazing husband and an even greater father. Thank you so much,” Eiji closed his eyes.

Ash looked up at the sky and felt as if the air around had changed, become softer. He closed his eyes, letting moisture leak out from them.

He looked back at the small, insignificant lump of dirt. “Thank you, mom. Thank you for everything. I wish I could’ve met and loved you.”

A moment passed and then Ash took a deep breath, squeezing Eiji’s intwined fingers. “Let’s go.”

It was silent as they walked back to the small house where their daughter stood on the porch railing, walking along the length of it. The house was one of the few farmhouses turned rentable houses around this area. He had been surprised with how convenient the location was, had almost wanted to laugh at cliché it was. Ash turned to look at Eiji, smiling when he heard him sigh. loosening the grip on their joined hands. He shook his head, wondering, under his breath, about who she got her insistence on trying dangerous stunts from.

Ash smiled at his husband’s complaints, knowing he’d figure out sooner or later, that she had seen old photos of Eiji practicing and had wanted to do the same.

“Akemi! We’re back.” Their daughter’s head snapped up; a grin immediately lit up her face. She jumped down from where she was standing, causing Eiji to yelp, and ran down the road.

“Daddy! Where did you go? Papa wouldn’t tell me. He said it was something serious and that I should be patient. But daddy, I was really patient so can I know now?” She stood at his feet, her eyebrows drawn in concern, earnest gaze directed towards Ash. Bending down, he lifted her up, so she was level with his face.

“Well, since you’ve been waiting so patiently for me,” he paused humming, feeling Akemi shake with excitement. “I think I’ll tell you later.” He grinned, watching her face fall.

“Daddy!” She pouted, holding her expression for a solid 3 seconds before laughing. “That’s not fair! You can’t tickle me!” Ash looked at her innocently.

“Daddy isn’t tickling you. I promise.” He nodded behind Akemi.

“Papa!” She laughed, turning around to see Eiji’s hands trailing up her back.

“You got me!” Eiji smiled dropping a kiss to her forehead and placing his arm around Ash’s waist.

Ash shook his head. He never believed he would be standing laughing with a child and husband about nothing. He never believed that he would get such mundane happiness. Not after everything. He felt a warm breeze, enveloping him in a soft warm embrace.

He knew he was overthinking things but he couldn’t help but feel as if his mother was happy for him as well.

“Let’s go inside, I’ll make dinner.”

He smiled at Eiji. “Thank you.” Leaning down, he placed a kiss on his head.

Eiji looked up at him. “Of course. I did say always, didn’t I?” Ash stood there for a moment, eyes locked with Eiji's, wanting to say more, but knowing nothing would be enough.

“Daddy, Papa, I’m hungry!”

Blinking out of their reverie, they looked down at Akemi, before laughing.

"Let's head inside then. I'll make natto."

Akemi groaned and Ash quickly dropped down to whisper in her ear. "I'll buy you ice cream if you eat it."

Ahead of them, Eiji sighed. "I heard that."

He couldn't help but let out a loud laugh. This was his life and he was more than happy for every moment of it.

**Author's Note:**

> as always, thank you for reading!


End file.
